(Yes, it’s possible.)
Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yule, Ōmisoka, or one of the dozens of other holidays in December, I hope it’s a happy and joyous one for you.
Often, this joy comes with a good dollop of stress for the Givers of Feasts and Throwers of Revels. There seems to be something awful and competitive about the holidays for many of us that gives a toehold to that horrible beast, Perfectionism. It’s past time to drive it back into the dark where it belongs. My wisdom on this topic is hard-won, so please – take a moment to laugh at/with me on how I got to where I am on this journey, which is in a warm, loving, decidedly non-perfect holiday house.
Long ago, I insisted on a “perfect” Christmas – holiday cards, live tree, clean-to-the-baseboards house, prettily-wrapped presents, cookies from scratch, Christmas sweater and accessories, and more – despite the fact that I lived alone and worked full-time in a educational setting, which means December is the time of exams, grades, reporting, prep work, and grade grubbing. (In short, December is THE WORST for educators! The end of the spring semester is MUCH easier, since there is no holiday pressure, self-inflicted or otherwise.) I couldn’t see past my own Currier & Ives fantasy to realize how much of my holiday blues and resentment was self-inflicted and could be put down at any moment.
It took bringing Someone Else into my world to truly buckle under the pressure. My first Christmas with my Beloved (as he reminds me, “we’d just begun to spark” that year) saw me having a mini-breakdown, complete with crying jag, over my inability to produce a “perfect” Christmas. He’s a rare bird, my Beloved, and instead of fleeing into the hills like a sensible person who is faced with a crazed Southern woman, calmly enjoyed the imperfect holiday then sat down with me afterwards to post-mortem the holidays to ensure that nothing that bonkers happened again.
Thus, a new tradition was born.
We’ve pared down our Christmas in a number of ways and changed the holiday to suit us – from how we pay for gifts, to the making of lists, to how we decorate, what we watch to celebrate, and even WHEN we celebrate.
And the Santa police have yet to knock at our door and give us a stern talking-to with a threat to put us on the “naughty” list.
Do what suits you, Divas. And cut the rest of it.
As I write this, it’s December 23rd. I haven’t posted in a month (see the above regarding teaching college-level classes in December), I’ve decided to send out Valentine instead of Christmas cards, no baking has been done aside from slice-and-bake cookies, and porch lights haven’t been hung. But – we have completed several large home projects that badly needed doing, have a gloriously “us” tree decorated, eaten delicious holiday treats, watched the delightful classic Christmas in Connecticut (please enjoy the short film that comes with the movie – it’s embedded at the bottom of this post), celebrated with friends and family, carved out time to enjoy our chosen hobbies, and (shh! this is the key to our holiday calm) exchanged thoughtful, carefully-chosen gifts. Later today, I plan to pick up a missing ingredient for holiday baking (butterscotch chips) and we’ll cuddle up tonight for Muppet Christmas Carol.
This is our Christmas. And, while not “perfect” by some measures, it suits us very well.
May joy be your measure, Divas.
Leave a Reply