When It All Falls Down

Sometimes, it just all falls down. These are the dark corners of our lives, Divas, and they come to all of us. It sometimes feels as if we’re getting far too much of our share of tribulation (and perhaps we are), but even in those times, we can prevent ourselves from drowning in sorrow.

I know of what I speak. Since starting on the Diva path, I’ve had to travel some rough, rough road – in no way is this to say I know what’s best for you (I’d never presume), but I do have some experience figuring out what works for me when it seems that all around you are teetering piles of rubble.

This is no time to be stoic. Whatever has happened – a horrible health diagnosis, the end of an important relationship, dealing with the stark certainty of Death, unwelcome employment changes, a devastating event cutting the insides out of a dear friend – it has happened and it hurts. You know there are stages of grief, but you also think Elisabeth Kübler-Ross should go pound sand. You’ve often found comfort in scripture, but no one had better quote anything at you just now. You’re bewildered, confused, angry, and forlorn.

So be those things.

While cheerful positivity has its place – and can be tremendously beneficial – it’s also perfectly normal and okay to not be there. If you want to scream out your confusion and rage, do so. (I suggest going to the car, driving, and screaming lyrics [Warren Zevon’s “Lawyers, Guns, & Money” can be a source of comfort], but that’s me. If you have animals or small ones in your house, just please don’t do it there and cause more unsettled feelings.) If you want to eat cereal for dinner and brownies for breakfast, do so. If you want to take to the woods and sit on a rock by a rushing river for a solid day, so so. If you want to build a pillow fort and watch a Miyazaki marathon, do so.

You get the idea.

The dark times will pass, Diva. Truly they will. You’ll see the glory of a bank of two-foot-all bearded irises and feel your soul stir just a little bit. You’ll hear birdsong and register it as beautiful. You’ll have the desire to tidy your space and then you’ll catch up on the laundry and sweep the kitchen floor. You’ll take your resume, update it, and ask for help making it reflect the gloriousness that is you. You’ll come across a recipe written in your mother’s handwriting and smile instead of bursting into tears.

You will be all right.

In the meantime, let your Diva circle take care of you. Accept the casseroles. Agree to go to a coffee date or meet up for a drink. Browse a library sale or craft show. Be very, very gentle with yourself.

You’re healing.

And you will be all right.